


Numb

by Melle66



Series: Airborne [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22061737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melle66/pseuds/Melle66
Summary: Jack isn't pleased about Gibb's behavior during Ziva's last "visit" which leads to a bed confrontation.
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane
Series: Airborne [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554208
Comments: 12
Kudos: 61





	Numb

His fingers on her hips were bruising, but she guessed her nails scraping his shoulder blades made up for the pain. The raw, passionate strength in their lovemaking had always driven her crazy, lighting a fire inside her she thought she would never recover. As rough as sex was, she had never felt as disconnected as she did right now. Her mind kept going back to work, to his desk and the blatant coldness with which he disregarded feelings. She could understand Gibb’s urgency and worry whenever Ziva was concerned; the bond they had was particular and she would never get in the way of it. However, she couldn’t help but feel like she was disposable; a lover who warmed his bed for as long as it was convenient for him.

His hands moved from her hips to her ass, pulling her closer -as if it was possible- to him, striving for the friction that would release the tension he held inside. His lips were on her neck, licking and nibbling in a way she was sure would leave marks, and for the first time in the months they’d been together, Jack wished she was numb to every feeling.

Just like that, everything about him felt like too much. The scent of bourbon in his breath, his weight on top of hers, the wandering hand that moved from her back to lay between her legs. Jack gasped and pulled her hips back as if burned by his touch, eliciting a grunt from Gibbs, whose only reaction was to bring her closer once more with the hand he had kept on her ass, but she resisted him and moved her hands from his shoulders to his chest, pushing to create distance between them. He took his hand to her hair and seeked her gaze with his eyes, but Jack was looking away, taking deep breaths in an attempt to relax.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with a frown of concern she would have found endearing just the night before, when the question would have sounded genuine instead of fed up, making her believe he truly wanted to know.

Her mouth opened instinctively, ready to blurt out an answer, but when nothing came out of it she simply shut it and shook her head. The options were scarce. She could swallow her pride, shoot him a smile and let him have his way with her until he found his release -it was clear nothing would do the trick for her that night. That wasn’t like her, though, and she didn’t want to have such behavior as a foundation in their relationship… or whatever it was that they had. Another option was to push him away, get dressed and send him his way. If she was honest with herself, she couldn’t find a good reason not to run away already.

Through her life, she had been the kind of friend who encouraged others to leave behind any relationship in which they weren’t essential, so why was she making herself an exception? She had wanted him for so long and for a couple of months she actually thought she had him, but there were parts of him he’d never give away.

“Jack,” he called with a tone so sad that she snapped out of her own misery to meet his eyes, feeling her own well up with tears, “Talk to me.”

She couldn’t help the chuckle of disbelief that escaped her mouth as she slid from under him to sit up in her bed. Her hand reached under the pillows to grab her pajamas, ignoring the fact that his shirt had been conveniently discarded on top of her bedside table for her to wear once they were done. Gibbs didn’t attempt to stop her, nor made a move to reach out for her, which wasn’t a surprise.

“Now you wanna talk?” she asked with her back to him as she got dressed in a hurry. Once fully covered, she switched on the night lamp and turned to face him.  
“It’s what ya wanted, isn’t it?” his tone was tired and his face stoic, feeding her anger at his condescending manners.

“So what, we only do things when you want to and screw everyone else?”

Gibbs looked away and rolled his eyes at her outburst, “Forgot we gotta bow before ya whenever you feel like analyzing us.”

“Is that what you think I want?” she asked, brows raised in disbelief, “Well, I apologize because I sure as hell didn’t know I was such a burden to you!”  
If she expected him to snap at her in self-defense to justify pushing her away, she was wrong. He crawled closer to her, still covered by her bedsheets, and gently took her wrist between his thumb and middle finger, softly caressing her pulse point in a silence that stretched long enough for her to relax. She let out a long breath, letting her shoulders slouch forward in defeat while her eyes glanced from his touch on her wrist to his face. Gibbs was more tired than he would ever admit, and it seemed to her that life had decided to throw even newer hard punches at him at a time in which he should be enjoying the fruit of his hard work. He didn’t let his team or Leon see just how much of a toll their new cases took on him, but right now Jack could see the lingering sadness in his eyes, the bags under them that took each time longer to disappear. She could hear the way his voice trembled whenever he talked about how Phineas, but she acquired all that knowledge based on observation, years of experiencing being her door into a side of Gibbs he rarely spoke about.

“I didn’t mean it like that” he finally said, his eyes still not meeting hers.

“Then how did you mean it?”

Gibbs lifted his head to the ceiling, inhaling deeply. He clasped his hands in front of him and shook his head slowly, “I… She isn’t your concern.”

“Oh, I’m aware of that,” her tone was harsh and held no trace of irony. If anything, it felt like the most genuine phrase she’d uttered that night, “And I’m sure Ziva is a very capable woman…”

“Then what was the point?”!

Jack was used to him raising his voice, but it was rarely directed her way. Fighting her growing need to run, she only looked down at her own hands. In a faint whisper that made her cringe at how delicate she sounded, Jack spoke, “You are my concern.”

He remained silent for a moment before hesitantly risking glancing her way. He saw the sadness in the resigned smile she shot his way and felt a knot in his stomach at how many times he’d been on the receiving end of that look while sitting in bed. He didn’t want Jack to be just another number in a list of failed relationships, and she didn’t deserve to be.

“Sometimes everything feels like a dream,” he started in a low tone that made her scoot over until their arms were touching side by side, “Ziva returning, Phineas… Even you don’t feel real at times, ya know?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Gibbs” she promised, resting her head on his shoulder, placing her free hand on top of his, “But I need you to let me in.”

He slid one arm around her shoulders to hold her close in a hug, then pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Gonna need help with that,” he admitted, relaxing visibly when she crawled to sit on his lap, her face buried in his neck, “I want you, Jack.”

She looked up at him and placed her palm flat against his cheek, “I need you to show me.”

He kissed her softly, then deeply in the span of a few seconds, hugging her close as if trying to merge their bodies together. His hands slid under her shirt, seeking her warmth, and Jack was glad -oh! So glad!- she wasn’t numb on that night.


End file.
